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"Mature Content!" |
| “ | Well, here I am! Conker the King... king of all the land! Who'd a thought that? "But how did I come to this?" I hear you say. "And who are those strange fellows that surround my throne?" I hear you also say! Well. It's a long story. Come closer and I'll tell you. It all started... yesterday. And what a day that was! It's what I call... a bad fur day! | „ |
| ~ Conker the Squirrel's opening narration in Conker's Bad Fur Day. |
Conker the Squirrel is an anthropomorphic red squirrel and the main protagonist of the Conker series. Originally making his debut in Diddy Kong Racing in 1997 before starring in his own series two years later, he initially started out as an innocent and happy-go-lucky squirrel before evolving into a greedy, alcoholic, vulgar, cynical and even murderous anti-hero he is known as today in his most famous appearance, Conker's Bad Fur Day. He gets into all kinds of misadventures such as saving his girlfriend Berry from the Evil Acorn and finding himself caught in the middle of a war between the Squirrel High Command and an army of Tediz (who are basically the teddy bear counterparts of the Nazis). Nevertheless, he's always willing to lend a helping hand to those in need (for the right price, that is).
He is voiced by Chris Seavor, who has also voiced him since his debut and every other male character in Conker's Bad Fur Day (except The Great Mighty Poo, who was voiced by Chris Marlow) and has also served as the leading director of said game and has previously worked on other classic games from Rare such as Donkey Kong Country, Banjo-Kazooie, Perfect Dark and others, as well as providing the voice for Slippy Toad and Peppy O'Hare in the Star Fox series.
His Good Ranking[]
What Makes Him Admirable?[]
In General[]
- Cares for a great group of people, including his parents (who taught him not to swear, drink alcohol or smoke), his girlfriend Berri, as well as his friends Rodent, who has been best friends with him since childhood and Franky the Pitchfork.
Diddy Kong Racing[]
- Helped Diddy Kong and his friends to save Timber's Island from Wizpig.
Conker's Pocket Tales[]
- Rescues his girlfriend Berri and retrieves the stolen birthday presents from the Evil Acorn.
Conker's Bad Fur Day[]
- He helps Mrs. Queen Bee retrieve her hive and aids her in the battle against Wayne and the Wankas twice. The first time, he doesn't even ask for a reward.
- He stands up for Franky the Pitchfork when the latter gets bullied by the paint and brush duo Ron and Reg and stops Frankie from hanging himself by cutting the rope suspending him.
- After the battle with the Haybot, he puts Franky back together when the latter gets broken in half, and doesn't even bother asking for a reward.
- He causes the rope a bat Count Batula is hanging on to to break after feeding him too much villager blood, causing him to fall into his own grinder and permanently reversing the bat curse he put onto Conker.
- He fights alongside the Squirrel High Command in the war against the Tediz army.
- He saves his old friend Rodent from being executed by a Tediz firing squad.
- Although he electrocutes a Squirrel soldier in the electric chair, he didn't mean to as he was trying to rescue him.
- He defeats the Tediz army by infiltrating their base and defeating The Experiment, leading their base to be blown up in an explosion, thus foiling Professor Von Kripplespac's plan for world domination and avenging the countless squirrels who have been killed under Kripplespac's command during the Milk Wars, the Old War and the war against the Squirrel High Command.
- He defeats his archnemesis Professor Von Kripplespac by opening the airlock and ejecting him into space and kills his Xenomorph-like henchman Heinrich, thus becoming the new king of the Fairy Panther Kingdom.
- He tries to have the game's programmers bring his girlfriend Berri back to life after Don Weaso guns her down under the Panther King's orders, but fails.
- He shows remorse for letting his greed get the better of him, which led to the death of his girlfriend, Berri.
Conker's Big Reunion[]
- He stops the Tediz from blowing up the Cock and Plucker tavern and from ruining his 10-year reunion party.
- He saves Birdy's life by urinating on him to put out the flames when the latter gets attacked by a Tediz soldier with a molotov cocktail.
Young Conker[]
- He and his girlfriend Berri stop Professor Von Kripplespac from unleashing a doomsday weapon called the K-ILLER, a missile with the capacity to destroy the world.
What Makes Him Inconsistent?[]
- He is an anti-hero and a hero by proxy. Many of his admirable deeds were done for self-serving purposes, as shown in various interactions with NPCs in Conker's Bad Fur Day, with him asking "What's in it for me?" almost every chance he gets. Not only that, his entire motivation in the entire game is to find a way back home after getting hungover at a party at the Cock and Plucker last night and the only reason he does any heroism in the first place is due to him being completely oblivious to his surroundings. Though to be fair, there are times when he does heroic deeds out of selflessness and doesn't ask for a reward.
- He is lethal to the point where he is straight-up homicidal, as he is more than willing to brutally murder his enemies without a shred of remorse. He also has no qualms killing innocents, and what's worse: innocents make up a good chunk of his kill count, which automatically disqualifies him from any moral ranking higher than Inconsistently Admirable. He is even shown to be sadistic when killing his enemies at times. Some examples being:
- In the first chapter of the N64 version of CBFD titled "Hungover", after he hits a gargoyle blocking his path with a frying pan causing the latter to laugh hysterically, he sports a Cheshire Cat-like smile while waving goodbye as he falls off the bridge to his death. While the gargoyle was a huge jerk, Conker was needlessly sadistic in seeing him die.
- In Chapter 2 "Windy", he tricks a bull named Bugger Lugs into killing his lady-cow companions and later in the same chapter, he feeds a giant dung beetle a ball of dung containing a dynamite stick, causing him to explode into pieces.
- In Chapter 3 "Barn Boys", he force feeds Marvin the Mouse chunks of cheese until he becomes obese, causing him to violently explode. While Marvin is miraculously shown to be alive at the end of the game, it was still too excessive. What's worse is that the chunks of cheese Conker feeds to him are sentient, as they can clearly be heard crying out in terror.
- In Chapter 4 "Sloprano", he feeds some innocent and sentient Sweet Corn to the Great Mighty Poo to provoke and battle him, and after Conker kills him by flushing him, he sadistically quips "Now that's what I call a bowel movement!"
- He has a greedy side, as shown with his reaction to seeing a wad of money, in which he sports a huge grin on his face and dollar signs in place of his eye pupils and when he demands Mrs. Queen Bee to pay quadruple the amount she paid him for retrieving her hive the first time. His avarice gets the better of him throughout the course of Bad Fur Day as he spends more time collecting money than focusing on finding his way back home, and he is shown to be willing to resort to amoral actions to obtain money, even killing innocents. This proves to be a fatal flaw not just for Conker, but for his girlfriend Berri as well, as his greediness leads to her being kidnapped by the Rockmen and later gunned down by Don Weaso under the Panther King's orders. Had he set aside his desire for money and focused on getting back home, these events would never have happened.
- He is on & off, as he does some rather villainous deeds at some points in Bad Fur Day, with him even crossing the Moral Event Horizon quite a few times throughout the game, which is enough to earn him a page on the Inconsistently Heinous Wiki, with some examples being:
- In Chapter 3 titled "Barn Boys", right before he enters the Bats Tower, he drains an entire river causing all of the aquatic life to suffocate.
- In Chapter 6 "Uga Buga", he crosses the MEH twice: when he sacrifices a baby dinosaur to the Dragon Gods by crushing it under a stone press, even going so far as showing sadistic delight in seeing it get killed and later in the chapter when he throws a bomb in the heart of the volcano the Ugas were worshipping, leading them to be incinerated. While this was done under the orders of Don Weaso, one of the main villains, the fact that Conker killed several more Ugas on his own free will earlier doesn't help his case. In short, he was willing to commit genocide to further his goals.
- In Chapter 7 “Spooky”, he aids his villainous great-grandfather Count Batula lure villagers into his grinding machine to satisfy the vampire’s thirst for blood.
- In the final chapter of the game titled “Heist”, he and Berri rob the Feral Reserve Bank under Don Weaso’s orders.
- The only thing preventing him from being a full-blown villain protagonist is that a majority of the characters in Bad Fur Day are even worse than him.
- He is very perverted, as shown in the first chapter “Windy”, when he only agrees to help King Bee when he hears him talking about a big-breasted babe. He is also shown to be hitting on women despite already being in a relationship with Berri, making him a womanizer. Speaking of Berri, the reason why he fell in love with her in the first place was because of her large breasts. Also, one of his idle animations involves him looking at a porn magazine.
- While nowhere near as much of most of the other characters in CBFD, he still has some jerkish moments such as when he makes a snide remark towards Mrs. Queen Bee when she reveals that her husband left her, when he makes fun of Gregg the Grim Reaper’s height, and when he has Fangy the Raptor tear off Buga the Knut’s buttocks and expose his tiny penis in front of his lover Jugga. While Buga deserves it seeing as he is an egotistical jerk who is willing to have his own people killed in an arena for his own entertainment, Conker didn’t do it to avenge the Ugas killed, but rather for the sole purpose of humiliating him in front of his lover. It also doesn’t help that Conker aided him in killing more Ugas with Fangy beforehand.
- Conker often abuses his Fourth Wall Knowledge to his advantage such as cheating death and the plot, to throw crude puns to the player, or blackmailing the developers to get what he wants.
Trivia[]
- He is one of three Inconsistently Admirable heroes to come from a video game series from Rare, alongside Kazooie and Donkey Kong.
- If the Conker series was never revamped into an adult-oriented series or if he showed remorse for his murders in Conker’s Bad Fur Day, and not be so perverted, he would have been Near Pure Good, due to having far less corrupting factors and not having any Moral Event Horizon crosses since his corrupting qualities come from Conker’s Bad Fur Day.
- A planned but cancelled sequel to Bad Fur Day titled Conker’s Other Bad Day would involve Conker stopping Professor Von Kripplespac from destroying the world with a super weapon titled the Death Starfish. Had the game been released, it would have made him more admirable.
External Links[]
- Conker the Squirrel on the Heroes Wiki
- Conker the Squirrel on the Inconsistently Heinous Wiki
- Conker the Squirrel on the Rare Wiki
- Conker the Squirrel on the Conker Wiki
[]
 Inconsistently Admirable
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Donkey Kong Kirby Star Fox Xenoblade Chronicles Dragalia Lost Conkers Bad Fur Day See Also | ||